Mother's Day is hard sometimes. I wish that my mom was here. I wish that she has here to help me be a mom. I wish she was here on earth to see all her beautiful grandbabies grow. I wish my mom and grandma were here so I can take them flowers and wish them a Happy Mother's Day in person. I often think about how hard it must have been for my mom, knowing she was going to be leaving her 5 kids. But she was so strong, if she cried I rarely saw it. Her faith in that particular time in her life was beyond amazing.
I know this sounds silly but whenever I go to the girls' dance or the boys' baseball games I get teary eyed. I think it's just because I'm a big sap, but I feel my mom there. I know I can't see her but I know she does see these grand babies.
Since my mom passed there have been so many people in my life that have filled holes that were missing since she left. I am so grateful for the time I did have with my mom and grandma. But I am extremely grateful for who I have now.
Mom - What can I say? You are my mom. I love you so much, you taught me so much. I know with me being the oldest our relationship wasn't always perfect but the love was always there. We only got 21 years together but I am grateful for that. I am grateful for my brothers and sisters that you have brought into this world that are now my rock. Thank you for planting a small seed with us in faith. Thank you for teaching us what you could before you left. Your testimony and your struggles, strengthened mine like no other. And finally, thank you for always being there. Thank you for your sweet spirit guiding me when you can. My heart is always with you.
Grandma - You were a second mom to me. I was your first grand daughter and you spoiled me rotten. I loved that! You taught all of us what it is to be strong and also how to have fun. Thank you for letting me come over to your house and watch MTV because we didn't have it. Thank you for being there for us. I know mom left before you and I didn't realize how hard it was for you until after you followed her. It makes me so happy to know that you and mom are together. Even though we lost you right after mom, it makes me happy that you two weren't apart for very long.
Aunt Kathy - I can't imagine what it would have been like to be in your shoes. To lose your big sister (who everyone thought was your twin) and then shortly after lose your mom. But you were strong. You did your very best to help me as I became a guardian to my brother and sisters. And you continued to be an amazing mom to your kids. I love that our kids are close like we were to your kids. They are pretty much our brothers and sisters. I love you, thank you for checking in on me here and there!
Mandy - Oh Mandy, you are an AMAZING mother! You impress me everyday. You are strong, and so smart. Thank you for remembering every single thing a doctor says when babies are sick because I don't. Thank you for being there when I need you. Thank you for telling me we are going to be okay when I was falling apart during mom's sickness. Thank you for your faith and example. I love you!
Ashley - I know you're not a mom, but you accepted me in a mom-like role. Ashley I am sorry you only had 7 years with mom. I am sorry you got stuck with me after that. But thank you for being you. I think we were so close when you were born for a reason. I always thought you were my baby and mom just had you for me. :) I may not be your mom, but it has been an honor raising you and seeing you grow into an awesome young lady. I can't wait to see what the future holds for you. I love you!
Paola & Kristin - I don't know what life would be like if my brothers didn't find you two. We are sisters, and I love it. I love our relationship and I love your kids. Thank you for taking care of my brothers and being there for me. I love you guys so much!
So even though my mom and grandma aren't here with me in person. I know they watch over me. I'm grateful for them, and the family we have now that could not have happened without them! Happy Mother's Day!
1 comment:
Oh Katie, so beautifully written!! I'm a firm believer that our trials no matter how big or small make us who we are, your mom would be so proud of you!
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